The Good, The Bad, The Pretty

Since my last post, I have had some life changing events come about.  April and May have been somewhat of a whirlwind, to say the least. I have received the absolute worst news of my life; but also a very exciting opportunity.

THE BAD NEWS:
On April 13Th, as I am sitting in my hotel room, my family surprisingly shows up there to tell me that my older sister, Megan, had suddenly passed away. It was only 3 days after her 27Th birthday. There is no way to describe, at that very instant, the feeling(s) that took over me. Dread. Sickness. Guilt. Shock. In situations like these you  hear so often: "I don't know what I would do." And they are absolutely right. You don't know what to do. You don't know what to think. You don't know what to say. You don't know how to react. You almost want to laugh because it's so unexpected that your first instinct says it's a joke. But it wasn't a joke. It was real. The most real thing I have ever felt. You go through your young life thinking that a break up with the boy that you thought was "the one", or a friend moving away, or losing a pet is the most sadness you will ever feel. And although all of those do hurt and are never easy, it is a completely different feeling to lose a sibling. It penetrates right down to your core and in every bone in your body. And I think it is even safe to say that being a parent and losing a daughter hurts 100 times worse than losing a sibling.
I MISS YOU, MEGAN. I LOVE YOU.

THE GOOD NEWS:

With my sister's passing being only two weeks out from my marathon, it was hard to decide whether to run it or not. I had no appetite and was really having a hard time getting any sleep. This affected me wanting to even go out and get a run in. I did my best, pushed through my last hard workout (10 X Yasso's) and decided to do it. I still wanted to break 3 hours but told myself that if I was going to do this race, I needed to be OK with whatever happens race day.

On race morning I could definitely tell that I was a little off mentally. I was really anxious and a little irritated before the race. I then made the BIGGEST ROOKIE mistake: I forgot my D-Tag. I realized this as I was toeing the line and panic rushed over me. I couldn't believe it. All the work I had done, the last two weeks of struggle and now I forget my chip?! I sprinted back to the Elite Area only to find they had already sent my bag to the finish line. This is when I really start freak out. I get back to the line and tell the official, who just brushed me off. Another official comes up, and by that time Coach Dad had arrived and he too is yelling to the officials about my tag. The second official said it was alright and that they will track me because of my bib number (which was F1). I calmed a little but still wasn't convinced (I eventually asked my cyclist to double check for me!). At this point, I really had no choice though. I would run the race and deal with it later. The gun goes off and I start. My first few miles were WAY too fast due to a downhill start. This threw me off and I never really settled into a rhythm. I would hit a 6:45 then down to 6:35 and back to a 6:50 then back to a 6:38. I felt as if I was holding a steady rhythm but every mile brought a surprise split. I was still feeling pretty strong and just tried to do my best at holding a pace. I went through the half around 1:26 and change. I was feeling good through about mile 17, when I started up a hill and got a huge wave of nausea. I knew then it was going to be a rough 9 miles. And it was! The temperature started to get high and the humidity was really getting thick. I think it was somewhere in the mid-80s with 65-70% humidity when I finished. Looking back I don't think I drank enough water in the first half of the race to prepare for the second. It didn't help that the last miles were almost entirely in the sun also. Only a small section where we went through a spectatorless park, did I finally get a little relief from the blaze. At mile 21 or 22 I really hit the wall. Actually, crashed into the wall. My pace dropped somewhere to around 7:30s to 7:40s and I stuck there until the finish. As I crested the hill at about 25.5 and made the left turn down towards the finish, I could see people finishing their half-marathons and all the spectators awaiting our arrival. It was what I needed to really give me a final push to the finish. I think I even dropped my pace back down to sub 7:00(Ha!). As I cross mile 26, I could see that the clock was right around 2:59:xx. One of my goals was to qualify for Elite Development in the Chicago Marathon, which meant I had to run under 3:01 to do so. Right past mile 26, Coach Dad, his fiance and her daughter were there waiting and cheering my on. I hit whatever gear I had left and gave it all into the finish (my last .2 was 1:25!). I finished just barely making the qualifying time by running 3:00:56. It was a small PR, but still a PR. Especially on a VERY hilly and hot course. Although I missed breaking the three hour mark (AGAIN!), I placed the highest I ever had in a marathon placing 12Th overall and  finishing the 3rd woman. I even got a little chunk of the prize purse!

Coming down the final stretch!

Coach Dad and I post race. 

(He ran the half-marathon a week after running the London Marathon!)

Her initials barely hung on, as did I!

Coach Dad and I after the awards ceremony.

 THE PRETTY:

 So, to get to that exciting opportunity I had. I moved back to California in 2011 after living in Wyoming for about a year. While I was there, I frequently visited Colorado and LOVED it. I have wanted move to Colorado since then and now officially have! My boyfriend, Chris, and I decided to move to Colorado Springs to better our training. We are both young and have no major commitments and decided: Why the hell not!? The altitude here is right around 6,300 ft and there are more trails than one can imagine! Can you say more red blood cells!?

Gorgeous.  

From the trail head at Red Rock Open Space.

Hello, Pikes Peak! 

Just leaving the grocery store :)

 I am really excited about the move. We had some major difficulties getting out here, but that is a story for later. I am glad to finally be here and have met some great people already (Hi Caroline and Clayton!). I do miss my family and friends back home in good ol' California! Running has been a bit of a struggle because 1.) you are either gasping for oxygen or 2.) going straight up. Usually it's a combo of both for me. It is getting better and I am feeling my strength developing already.

I don't have any races planned in the near future (until Chicago) and am out of things to report. So, until next time!

Happy trails!