The Dilemma

The year 2011 has been a great running year, but also a confusing one. After taking almost an entire year off in 2010, I really struggled to come back. I was living in Wyoming and moved back to California in January with plans of running Boston that April. I was behind in my training and trying to play catch-up wasn't working out too well for me. I remember one workout, we were doing hills, where I just hit a mental wall and said to myself "I really don't care about this anymore." I knew this wasn't true because why else would I have been crying my eyes out after the workout? I talked with my coach (who also happens to be my dad) and got some words of encouragement. We changed up the training plan the following week and added one of my favorite workouts, 12x 400. This snapped my legs, and my mentality, back on the right track and I had a great run in Boston.

Never had I ever hit such a low point with my running. Not even in college where I struggled to really enjoy racing (5ks really just aren't my forte!) I never felt like I "didn't care." That workout really got me thinking about my running and where I should go with it. I don't have much speed, but I've got endurance (Toot! Toot!). My coach has always told me that I would be better at running the longer distances such as half and full marathons. So after my final collegiate season, I called him up and said "Let's run Boston." And so we did. I ran CIM 2009 as my qualifying race. I trained to run a 3:15 and ended up running a 3:11:34. And so I set my sites on Boston, and on the marathon. My game plan became to train over the next few years to run the Olympic Trials qualifying standard in the marathon for the 2016 trials.

Buuutttt, over summer I frequently went up to the Auburn hills and did a lot of trail running and even ran a few trail races.I found that this is where I really feel at home. Having run since I was 9 years old, I learned early on that cross country was my thing. Put me on a flat, fast course and I'll get my ass handed to me. Put me on a tough, hilly course and I'll hand it right back. Winning both trail races only further boosted my confidence on the hills. After the summer I went back to running mostly road while training for the Marine Corps Marathon. Since then I have been craving a little dirt (actually a lot of dirt). I've gone back to Auburn once or twice, but not enough to get a good fix. It's making me consider entering the ultra scene and seeing how I can do there (it doesn't help that I work with some trail heads who are more than encouraging me to hit the trails!).

I guess what it comes down to is that the OT mark is a challenge that I set for myself and can't back away from. However, I feel I like I would better belong in the trail world. I want to find the race that I really excel at. The race that while running it, I have total confidence that I can kick some ass. That race where I cross the finish line and feel nothing but pure joy.