Since sustaining a knee injury back in July, I have had to find other ways to fill my time. Today we were invited to go mountain bike riding with some friends. I have not been confident on any sort of bike for many years and I am even less confident on a mountain bike. However, Seth bought me a bike a few months back and I said I would try it under the condition that he doesn't take me on any trail that has more rocks than the number of letters in his last name.
 |
| Chatting with some of our local runner friends! |
We met up with a group out at Granite Bay Beach and hit the trails from there. Another one of the girls in our group was just learning to ride as well so I felt better about them not tricking me into going on any trails where I would be white-knuckling my breaks. The guys started us on some pretty easy trails to get us used to shifting and to get a feel for the bike. Once we hit the more technical trails, shit started to get real and my fear surfaced. I was having a lot of trouble with my back brake causing my tire to lock-up and slide more than I wanted. It started to make me feel like I didn't have control of my bike and that I was going to kiss rocks or take someone out. My fear made me lock up like I had rigger mortis and I looked like a five year old learning how to ride a bike. I started walking my bike down steeper, rocky areas which I knew I could ride, but was lacking the confidence to do so. I started to get really frustrated for reasons that Seth says are due to my Type-A personality; I have to do everything perfect even if it's the first time I try it. Which I have to admit, he is probably right (don't tell him I admit that). I tend to get frustrated really easy when I can't do something. Maybe it has to due with me growing up as a competitor, but I HATE it when I can't do something. I hate it even more when I can't do it because of my own fear. It's not that I am necessarily bad at it, it is that I haven't even given myself a real chance to be good.
Seth and the others had to reassure me that the issues I was dealing with today were issues they all dealt with when they first started riding. I can't let my frustration stop me from trying again. Despite being afraid, I had a lot of fun and so did everybody else. I would hate to miss out on experiences like today because I am too scared.
 |
| Eric, me and Monica. Look at the blue sky! |
 |
| Me and the other newbie, Monica catching up to the group. |
"Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once. " - Unknown
